Negative thoughts are pushy little mojo-stealing pirates. They are persuasive, intrusive, and powerful. Our thoughts will influence how we feel, which will influence what we do and how we see ourselves. For our children and teens, negative or anxious thoughts can shrink their world and dilute their capacity to own their very important place in it. Negative thoughts will do that with all of us.It isn’t so much the thoughts that are the problem, but what those thoughts are allowed to become. Negative thoughts that come and go without settling in are no problem at all. We all have them from time to time – sometimes plenty of times. The ones that cause trouble are the ones that swagger in, claim their place at the table, and outstay their welcome. Even more boldly, they’ll run a convincing argument that must stay to protect those minds and bodies from harm – and embarrassment, humiliation, failure, making a mistake, might all count as harm.
If only negative thoughts could find their way out as easily as they find their way in, but negative thoughts don’t tend to work that way. In fact, the more we try to push them out, the more they’ll push back. When we slam the door, they’ll hustle through the window. When we run, they’ll chase.
If your children are being barrelled by negative thoughts, it’s likely that you’re all too aware of the resilience of those negative thoughts. They won’t ease by telling your child not to think them, not to worry about them, not to listen to them, or by arguing about the rightness or wrongness of those thoughts. For something that can’t be seen, touched, or boxed and put on the high shelf, negative thoughts can make us all feel helpless – but there is a way to change that.
Our children have enormous power to shift their negative thoughts into something that is more able to nurture, nourish and strengthen them. The secret is making them realise this, and helping them to discover their power.